Well-I thought my blogging time woud be over once we got home. Well-Many of you have asked (in some cases demanded!) that I keep blogging about my experience.
Well, It’s been about 2 weeks since my surgery. My time in France after the sugery was more painful than imagined. I expected that I would be pretty ready to get back to life (no pun intended) and start things up again. This was not what happeend. I came home very weak and in rough shape. As I shared before, my surgeon in France had expressed that the surgery was a success. When we made it home and couldn’t move the next morning it was hard again to feel like a success story. We had planned that Jere would be back to work after being out for three weeks. That wasn’t possible. As he said, he got really sick…Days later as he gained strength to care for us my anxiety level was high. I knew I was the reason he couldn’t go back to work. I was the reason that I could help less now than before we left for France. A lot less. I began to pray. In pain and frustration. I prayed. SOmetimes when it hurts so much, in so many ways, all I can do is repeat Jeus Jesus Jesus over and over again. Another phrase that I speak is “I will praise you Anyways” This is still such a source of peace. Through it all, a couple dear people came forward and said..”You are not doing this alone..This process is not over…We will keep working through this together.”
In a past blog I wrote that I wanted to come home well for many reasons, but one of them to be well for everyone else. I didn’t want to ask for any more help. No more phone calls. No more requests of others. Well I didn’t need to ask for help because loved ones came forward to do it for me. There has been no expectation from anyone that I be any certain way right now and that is a real gift. My friend Erin has served me as if she were washing my feet. Calls everyday-what do you need, who can I call, do you need to eat, whom shall I call to come over for the kids…” I’m not used to that kind of consistency in serving. And not just from her but all of you. WHat in the world? WHat’s with you people? So much undeserved love and compassion for such a long time. I am so thankful for you – My community of friends and family who continue to amaze me!
Well…today I am stronger than yesterday. I made breakfast and lunch for the kids today. It was a great accomplishment for me. Each day this week someone has been able to come over for a half day so Jere cane go back to work while I recover. Others are bringing meals. Thank you!!
Tomorrow is a new day and a new friend arrives. It’s so great to have Jamie back from Guatemala. It’s really quite fun to have such great people com and visit each day. The boys love it too!
Medically speaking – My doctor here was also very reassuring that the surgery was a great success and he would stick with me to work in the process till we get there. I will be starting pool therapy soon depending on when they can get me in.
The shock of the slower recovery is over and I’m dealing with things day by day. Which now it actually feels like it’s moving faster. When ever I surrender whatever it is I’m fearing or angry about the healing or hope has a place to move in faster than I’d expect. I’ve learned it a billion times and wonder why I don’t just do the surrendering right away!!!!! Well, this whole precess is teaching me that ten-fold. I hope as I heal and move back into “regular” life that I’m not quick to forget how I’ve learned to access peace more quickly and let go of my flippin’ FEAR!!!
My typical day now is being up for an hour, resting for an hour, more resting. I try to take a short walk around the block each day. I like walking with Elliot because he knows he’s helping me get a stronger back. He is so gentle with me on our walks!
